Confession. I didn't get my miles in last week. With the inconsistent weather and the holiday weekend it just didn't happen. No worries though, that's why I gave myself a manageable amount of time to meet my goal. However, I do want to discuss some experiences this past week that really reminded me that life is fragile and that efforts like the PMC help people make the most of the one they have.
My grandmother went into the hospital last week under circumstances that most grandchildren would not expect for their grandparent. She's still getting treatment, but we don't really know what the future holds. A few days later, three tornadoes touched down in Western MA, where I grew up. The tornadoes and associated storms were very close to many of my family members and friends. Needless to say, I've been a bit shaky and overwhelmed by the realities of life and death this week.
One thing I have in common with my grandmother is that I've always been really aware, too aware, of my own mortality and the impermanence of those I love. My family has suffered a lot of unexpected losses, and I really think my grandmother missed out on a lot of her life because she was constantly focused on the family members we have lost. Like my grandmother, I have a tendency to let my fears about the uncertainties of life and death limit how I live my life. I guess one thing I can be thankful for is that seeing life pass her by is motivation to not let that happen to me.
A couple of nights ago, I saw a news story about a mother who saved her 13 year old daughter by laying over her in a bathtub while the tornado destroyed their house. The daughter survived, but the mother did not. I sobbed for hours after I saw the woman's older daughter describe the situation on the news, and then I exploded in tears when I retold the story to Jared. I can't imagine laying under my mother's dead body knowing that if not for her sacrifice, I too would be dead. I can't imagine being forced to choose between my own life and the life of my child. It was all too real because, my mother and my sister live in the areas of Western MA affected by the tornadoes. Even scarier, they each work in towns where the tornadoes actually touched down.
At times like this I'm flooded with thoughts of other tragedies. Just a couple months ago my friend's sister and her family lived through the recent tsunami and earthquakes in Japan. I can't imagine cradling my baby daughter under a table hoping that the shaking will stop and we will survive. I still fear airplanes with an intensity that seems more appropriate for someone who experienced or was more directly impacted by the terrorist attacks on 9/11. I think of losing my Dad to a heart attack when I was a child. I think of my cousin losing both her parents. I'm not trying to be a sensationalist here. My point is simply that it's too easy to become overwhelmed by all the potential tragedies in life. Whether it be cancer, heart disease, an act of mother nature, or something else - life is full of tragedy. I think so many of us get so overwhelmed by it all that we either give up caring altogether and ignore it or, like my grandmother and me, we let our fears consume us and limit the extent to which we can enjoy the life we have. I've always admired Jared's ability to be right there in the middle of that spectrum. He is seriously pained by the tragic effects of cancer, but he picks himself up and does something about it. Not only does he work hard to train and fundraise for the PMC, but, he also donates platelets about twice per month at Dana Farber.
When I went to bed after watching the news coverage of the tornado, I told myself that I was going to make sure I did not allow myself to enter a spiral of fear and sadness. I was not going to be consumed by fear and plagued by the what ifs. It's easier said than done, but I am trying to use these events as motivation to experience my life fully. I want these events to be a reminder of what's important - cherishing every moment, loving earnestly, and being kind and generous to others. I hear the expression a lot - all we have is now - and rather than fearing it, I'm going to try to embrace it. I send my love to everyone currently rebuilding their lives after tragedy. This weekend, I will continue to do my part and get back on that saddle - literally and figuratively. I hope you will consider donating to the PMC. Your donation will help prevent another tragedy.
In the Links section in the upper right, I've added a donation link to the American Red Cross so that you can donate to the disaster relief efforts in Western MA, Japan, and all over. Also, please check out Jared's blog to see an incredible example of what your donation dollars have accomplished at Dana Farber.
Thank you for reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment